It's a SHOE THING or Hoof Shoes and HIM

The Alexander McQueen "hoof shoes" have fascinated me for months now.

  

These shoes caught my eye in a fashion pic and I just couldn't get them out of my head. I collected pictures of them. Posted them on my FB page. For some reason they seem oddly familiar.

These were shoes designed (by the departed Alexander McQueen) for high fashion..shoes that only runway models and Posh Beckham would wear. Shoes for pain and glory. A FETISH if I ever saw one. (Okay, I won't EVEN go in to the time I wrote foot fetish stories for money...hey I'd keep writing them if the guy hadn't run out of money!)

Of course one of the most famous shoe fetishism was the foot-binding of China. Note the similarities of shape between the McQueen beauties and this tiny Chinese works of art. Yes, works of art as instruments of torture. I imagine there were even Iron Maidens that were atheistically pleasing as well.  I have no way of knowing how the McQueen shoes would feel on or even if they came in my size (11W). But I certainly admire how they rock. Lady Gaga wore them in her Bad Romance video.

Walk walk fashion baby!

Ga ga oo la la!

And this brings me to where I had seen this silhouette before!

It's HIM! Arch-enemy of the PowerPuff Girls!

Now I like Lady Gaga, and in no way think she is a hermaphrodite embodiment of evil, but those shoes are HIM's shoes or rather boots! And HE does like to prance around on those misshapen hoofs. I'm just glad Lady Gaga doesn't have a goatee. At least for now!

Of course I've had my own run-ins with weird shoes. You know, back in the '70s. Remember?

The White Platform Shoes!

One of my roommates bought a pair of 8 inch platform shoes. We were living at 14th and K in Washington, D.C. in 1975. Then that part of town was known as "hooker town" and now I guess it's known for it's lobbyists. I prefer the hookers myself.

Anyway, she had to have a pair of white sandals for a wedding and could only find these hideous PLATFORM shoes. The heels were eight inches tall and the platforms themselves were 5 inches tall, so the heel was only 3 inches above the ball of the foot. Not bad. But I had to try them on. Yes, I had to see what it was like to be Six Foot EIGHT inches tall! I could fit my foot in them but I couldn't move my feet! How did Fred Gwynne and other Frankenstein actors do it? I guess with practice, but my ankles couldn't take it.

No, my ankles have been my weak spot since birth. I was invited to a ice skating birthday party once and found myself hugging the rail with my feet folded at the ankles so said ankles were literally on the ice. The blades of the shoes were dangling off the side never touching the ice. No Dorothy Hamill for me though I did later rock that hairstyle. My feet, my shoes. They have to be practical. As a kid my shoes were...dum dum DUMMMMM.....

Saddle Oxfords

These stiff leather hoofs of my own were necessary so the doctor could build up the heels of the shoe so my ankles would be leaning into the hard packed dirt of the Tularosa, New Mexico playground. My shoes were clunky. They made noise in the hallways. And the boys made fun of my 'high heels.' All I wanted was the little velvet shoe with the patches on them like the other girls had. But if I had seen them, I think I would have really wanted the sparkly hoof shoes of Alexander McQueen. I could have kicked up some trouble in those bad ladies.